This caged bird dreams of flying

A bird is caged to protect him/her, but all that cage is doing is keeping the bird trapped and he/she will never learn how to fly. I'm sure everyone feels this way, but I know for a fact those with over-protective parents such as I, has felt this way all the time. Everyone least knows of one or has one of those parents that protect their children so much that you lose the freedom that others have.

Over-protective parents love their kids so much that they want to protect them from everything and often set strict limits. Limits that effect your social life.

• Most kids from these parents, don't get to have sleep-overs with friends until a late age due to the parents feeling uncomfortable letting their child sleep at a stranger's house. If the parents don't know your friends' parents or who else will be in the house then it's very unlikly you will sleep over.  The same goes with going to places with friends (such as the mall, thier house, etc.).
• They often have you contact them constantly telling them where you are or if you are alright, through the day when you are away from them.
• They do everything for you so you don't have to worry yourself over anything. They push you to be "good" by getting good grades and be a modiled indiviual.
•  No dating until they think you are old enough (which is mostly after you graduate high school). If you do date then you are limited to what you can do with your gf/bf and like any parent no person is "good enough" for you.

Well, my parents aren't as strict as others, but still according to everyone I know my parents are over-protective of me and even I agree they need to let me go. I missed a lot of things growing up that my peers already experianced and I felt left out. Not to mention their over-protective ways effected me mentally in ways concerning my personality.

• Growing up I was a very shy child and had trouble making friends because I was so sheltered I didn't react much with other kids. When I did obtain friends, I couldnt' spend the night unless my parents met and learned all the information they needed about my friends' parents, and most times they didnt' feel comfortable letting me spend a whole night away from home (I barely spent it away with family). I felt awful making up excuses why I couldn't come over because I didn't want my friends looking down on me or having to go through all that mess of questions my parents would ask. It wasn't until I got into high school that I spent a night with a friend, but had to convince my parents to even let me go to her birthday party.
• Then my parents being paranoid as they are, I couldn't browse the internet without supervision when I was a teenager due to someone could "hack into our computer' to find me. The only reason I got a email address (at age 13) was because a family member set me up with one, then i told my parents who was very skeptical of it and asked for my password. I wasn't allowed to play any online games nor go on forums. In High school i was finaly allowed to go on forums but no online games. (though like any teen I did it anyway behind their backs). They also discouraged me to talk to anyone older than me on those forums.
• I couldnt' date until I was 18 because they wanted me to focus on only school which left me sad and very lonely when I saw my peers dating as I could not until a certain age. I first have to complete least 2 years of college before thinking about marriage (though last year I did get engaged, only telling them 3 days later). Despite I'm 22, I cannot "make out" with my fiance nor do anything perverted with him because they want me to wait for marriage before sex and any "inappropiate" behavior (such as touching thighs, breasts, butt, etc.). If we are in the same room we must keep the door open. And not to mention my parents intervene in my relationship if they see me upset or something. For instance just a month ago I was having a lack of communication problem with my fiance and it depressed me, so they pushed their opinions on me and almost called him or his parents to "fix things". They say "they have that right" since I'm their daughter. It is putting stress on me and my fiance.
• When i'm not at home, I must send a text message to them if I go anywhere else (such as the mall, someone's house, restuaruant, etc.) and when I get back. When I was younger I had to call them to ask for permission if I could go somewhere. Again half the time i made up excuses because I feared the answer they'd give me was a "no" since in the past most times they never let me. I felt ashamed how my friends rolled thier eyes at how my parents were acting.
• My dad wouldn't allow me to wear makeup until I was in high school. Though I am thankful my mom let me get my ears peirced when i was in 6th grade. My dad is obsessed with my hair cause he gets annoyed when I go get it trimmed saying a girl should have long hair, it's beautiful. Though I love my long hair it is a hassle to have it so long and I hate trying to convince my dad to stop getting annoyed.
• When I was a teenager and left home alone I was not allowed to step out of the house nor to answer the door for strangers because my parents feared someone would abduct me.
• If I do make plans, I must tell them days in advance (least 2 days) before the event. Unlike others I can't just decide to go to a friend's house a day prior, which annoys me cause I miss out on things.

That is most of the things I was not allowed to do, which isn't everything. Also living as a low middle class family I never got to go to many places either such as amusement parks, the beach, etc. and though I was allowed to watch horror movies and play violent video games, I didn't have the social life I desired. To this day I still don't have a social life as others. I live under their roof because with the economy as the way it is money is low, I have no job and it's hard to find one these days. I am working on my learners but without gas money I won't be able to go places. My fiance is also struggling so until he can get a job with a stable income, we cannot start our life together.

I hate how over-protective my parents are cause I feel my life is passing me by without me taking control of it. They are always telling me their opinions and pushing their beliefs onto me even though inside I disagree (I never voice it). I am so nervous and dependent on others that I can't fucntion as those that had a none-sheltered life. I'm paranoid of the world where I dont' take risks. I try to talk to them but with me being under their roof, I don't have much say in the things I want (such as seeing my fiance more). I rely on them to bring and take me to my fiance's cause even if I had my liscencs they don't like me driving to a big city alone, but he can come get me (if he had his car). They pick the times when they pick me up because it's "their time" and will call me "selfish" if I protest. Where i was sheltered I never expressed my emotions when I was younger so now I don't have control over them, making me very sensitive near tears when I get upset over something. Being sensitive has made it hard for me to talk to them, and compromise because they see me upset and think I'm arguing, which makes them mad.

My parents want me to open up more, but once i do they don't agree with the things I say and sometimes it turns into an argument, so that's why I hardly ever voice my opinions. What's the point? I damn feel helpless and trapped, I have no control over my life. I hate how they interfere with my love life when they see me upset over something. i know they wish to help and it hurts them to see me hurting, but it's my life and they need to let me make my own choices. I can't learn if they do things for me, I can't be independent if they make me depend on them, I can't have a voice if they disagree with my opinions, I can't be outgoing if they don't allow me freedom, I can't live my life if they keep controling my life! I love them but I wish they will let me go already, I wish to fly away like the grown bird I am. I don't care if it is "selfish" of me to want these things because I been living underneath them all my life having them influence my life and my choices i make, I want to make myself happy now. Is it wrong of me wanting to live my life in the way it'll make me happy?

Until I can get out of this house I'm stuck this way... under their roof is their rules no matter how much I disagree and dislike it. I don't understand how parents can be over-protective when all it does is cause more harm to the child than good. If you don't let anything happen to them then nothing will happen to them.