"Do You Call my Name?"

Here's a song my fiance' showed me that describes my situation with my parents. Lately I've been finding many songs I can relate with in different ways, and since I'm "disallowed" to rant on Facebook about them, I rant here. This is my blog and I will do as I please. About this song, to me it reminds me of why I won't rebel against my parents despite everyone telling me to stand up. I can't stand up cause I have no leverage and no where to go. This is their house, I use thier money to get into college (dad works there to get me free tuiton and he damn hates his job), and I don't have my liscence yet (which is my fault). It's only me against them in this house and parents are 'nine out of ten times always right" said my dad once. I find ways to compromise, or buckle under. And once again pretending to be someone I'm not to keep the damn peace and make them happy.

Like today for instance, I was in a irratated mood (just one of those days) and wasn't talkative. Dad got pissed off at me for being short with him when he talked to me and accused me of not being talkative enough. Not hte first time we had this argument, third time to be exact. Then when mom gets home he drags her into it and sends me into my room so they can "talk". Which he was damn complaining about me and how he fucking hates his job. Anybody else have parents that complain about them? Feels digrading, doesn't it? Then later he talks to me saying how it's "his fault more than mine" and how he hates his job and he won't complain to me about it ever again if I stop complaining myself (mostly about how sucky of a computer we have). Oh and again I'm threatened not to post anything on facebook about him or my phone gets taken away. He wants me to be more talkative since he needs me to be cause i'm "slipping away" from him. So once again I'm damn pretending to be this happy little perfect obediant daughter of theirs who never complains but is always talkative with smile and involved in "family time'. Sometimes I really wish I was invisible so I can damn disappear... I really do feel alone sometimes but I'm very thankful for my friends letting me lean on them and rant cause one day I truly fear I'll damn break... which I play over and over in my mind of what could happen, none of the scenarios look good for me. Enjoy the song lyrics.

Do You Call my Name? - Ra

Some people seem to think they always know what's best for you
Their little minds try to create a world to keep you still
The bolt is thrown, the cage is locked
You saw this, don't you lie
At first you cry and then you hate those people stole your will...

Do as you are told and maybe then we'll let you out
You might be dead and cold, you might be full of doubt
Don't try to escape cuz you don't have nowhere to go
If nothing is your fate, there's no scenario
No nothing

Do you call my name
Do you stain my brain
My eyes are blurry and I can't see you anymore
Do you call my name
Do you breed my pain
My heart is bloody and I can't take it anymore

So you just sit there, stuck, afraid to risk reality
Afraid to cause yourself more pain, to face insanity
But nothing ventured, nothing gained
You see... your fear's your cage
You beg for help but you're alone, stuck in a helpless rage

Do as you are told and maybe then we'll let you out
You might be dead and cold, you might be full of doubt
Don't try to escape cuz you don't have nowhere to go
If nothing is your fate... there's no scenario
(it's me.... I see, please... let me out I'm petrified)

Do as you are told and maybe then we'll let you out
You might be dead and cold, you might be full of doubt
Don't try to escape cuz you don't have nowhere to go
If nothing is your fate... there's no scenario
(C'mon)

Do you call my name
Do you stain my brain
My eyes are blurry and I can't see you anymore
Do you call my name
Do you breed my pain
My heart is bloody and I can't take it anymore